Welcome to my life.
As my avid blog readers know, (Hey mom and Jade!), I struggled with losing weight for my whole life and only started to get in healthy shape about a year ago. (Note: I'm not saying "losing weight=healthy", I'm just saying that I was overweight and very unhealthy, and as I got healthy I lost weight). For the past few summers, I have actually wore the same polka dot tankini and swim shorts, because I was too self conscious to wear anything else. So this spring, my mom brought it up to me that we could go bikini shopping for summer. It was immediately a scary thought. The thought made me feel so vulnerable. I scrolled through them online and thought "Can't wear this one, can't this one. ugh i'd look terrible in that one". It was such a weird thought to see myself in a bathing suit that I was looking at a model wear. As I hesitantly tried them on though, I grew more and more excited. I realized that if I wore them with confidence, I would gradually feel confident in them. And that's what happened! I danced around my room in my favorite one that I ordered and I self empowered and excited. I never wore a bikini in my life so this is all new, so it was normal to feel uneasy. I wore it for the first time this Memorial Day and self consciously crossed my arms over my stomach for a little bit. Eventually it felt fun to feel free and like I was just a normal teenage girl in a bathing suit. (I did have to do some sit ups right before to give me a little extra courage). I'm still working on my beach body, but I've come to realize that this all wasn't about the bathing suit itself, it was my demeanor while wearing it.
So remember, it is not about what you wear, it's how you wear it.☀️
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Making noise through multiple mediums since 2001.